Smoke Screens

I'm twenty-five years old, and work at a small private education company in Northern Virginia. I grew up in Southeast Wisconsin and am addicted to TV, the internet, and chocolate. Welcome to my world. I'm also a Christian.

Having parents as pastors, my 3 siblings and I grew up in the Bible and the Christian faith. Every statement was followed with a scripture. "Ife, wake up! You'll be late for school. 'A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.' Poverty is not for you, gehl." Basically, if God didn't say it, we didn't do it. 

I never found it particularly overbearing, or burdensome to grow up in that type of environment as those on the outside looking in would think. It gave me a foundation to stand on, helped me stay out of trouble (for the most part), and has seen me through many teenage moments. That faith was my guide; my protector so to speak, and this was the case till I entered college, where the faith was not just for me to keep me sober on the weekends, but also something that I'd learn to share with my roommates, classmates and friends. I led bible studies, hosted praise nights and invited all my friends to church.

Then I graduated. My faith became "modernized", more palatable, more appealing and less potent.

This week I'm reading a book titled "Jesus is..." by Judah Smith. The chapter I'm reading deals with the topic of sin. Whoa! A big word. Sometimes, when I say it aloud, I feel like I dropped a curse word, like I said something vulgar. But it's not. It's the reality of our current state of affairs. The chapter emphasizes that we judge people based on how "little" or "big" the sin is. God sees sin as all the same, no curved scale, no levels, nothing. "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."

Having entered the real world, my life, actions, still reflect God, but my words and actions are dulled by the pressure I feel to appease, fit in, keep my job! I work in education so everyone is brilliant and extremely well educated. I'm not sure I quite fit in, so I do my best to assimilate and find where I fit. "We hide behind philosophical musings of cosmic good and evil, and we wax eloquent about love and tolerance and how that would make all the bad in the world go away. It's a smoke screen, a defense mechanism to deflect attention from the gaping holes in our holiness."

I don't want to hide any more. I don't want to fit in by presenting my beliefs as harmless and inoffensive. I don't want to mask the truth for pseudo-truth that is more acceptable.

Father, thank you for the reminder to be just the person I was made to be. Thank you that you show us images of who we are and who you want us to be. May your truth be constantly on my lips. Holy Spirit, guide my thoughts, actions and words this week. That I might be real, true and faithful to the cause.

Until Tuesday! 

BookMANIA

Dear Fellow Citizens of the World,

Happy Spring Break 2015! Whaat!? Well, I'm on Spring Break, that is. I don't know about you, but whatever season of your life you're in, celebrate it.

In the last 2 years since I've written a post, here are the major life updates you need to know:
1. I'm living in the city of my dreams: the DMV--DC.Maryland.Virginia. Set out in June 2013 and haven't looked back. It will be my 2 year anniversary in 2 months and I'm beyond thrilled!
2. I'm the office director of an education company in Virginia and killin' the game (by God's grace).
3. I'm 25. Yep. That happened a few weeks ago.
4. I started learning Portuguese, but haven't set up a consistent learning schedule so I'm basic at best.
5. I attend an amazing church that has been my source of community and strength since moving to the DMV.
6. I've been acting, performing and dancing all over the area and so glad I get to use my talents for good.

If you have questions about any of these updates, feel free to let me know and I'd be more than happy to share my experience with you!

The point of this blog!!:
I'm working through my personal library. While doing some spring cleaning, I realized there were a large number of books I've never actually finished or read. My goal is to blog about these books as a means of keeping track of what I'm reading, but also sharing my thoughts with others.

It would be great if I can finish them all this year, so I'm supposed to be reading at least 4 books a month! YIKES! In attempts to balance, I've chosen to read a fictional, educational, spiritual and professional book each month. Here's the list (don't laugh, I need to purchase more books!):

April:
*Jesus Is...
*El Cuaderno Rojo
*Now, Discover Your Strength
*Development Projects for the New Millennium

May:
Pinochet and Me
Following Jesus in the "Real World"
The Slight Edge
One Thousand Gifts

June:
David & Goliath
Fidel Castro: My Life
When God Writes Your Love Story
China's Congo Plan

July:
Tales of the Not Forgotten
Die Empty
Beyond the Snows of the Andes
Small Group Leaders' Handbook

August:
The Bottom Billion
Cherished
Intimacy with the Almighty
One Hundred Years of Solitude

September:
Jesus with Dirty Feet
Live the Dream: No More Excuses
My Life My Africa
Faithful

October:
Please Don't Bomb the Suburbs
The Radical Disciple
Smile
Your Road Map for Success

November:
The Power to Dream
Redeeming Love
Breaking the Rules
Nelson Mandela: The Life of a Super Legend

December:
Leading Life-Changing Small Groups
The Palm-Wine Drinkard
Veinte Poemas de Amor
59 Seconds: Change your life in under a minute

Guess what. There are books that didn't make it on the list. I had a few last minutes changes to include my Kindle e-books so that expanded my list. Four books a month is a lofty goal, but I believe it'll be an amazing experience.

Action plan: Blog Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
Vision: Spend less time watching TV, and more time growing mentally.

Here goes! Wishing you the best this week, and that you find goals to pursue,
-Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Experiment on Righteousness

Rules. Rules. Rules. Rules!

We all get tired of rules every now and then. Rules that remind us we aren't driving on the German autobahn at whatever speed we want. Rules that tell us how tall we can build our fancy houses. Rules that make us pay extra at the check-out line (yes, those pesky taxes). Rules that put noise limits on our celebrations, otherwise guess who shows up at your door?

All these rules are certainly in place for a reason. If speed limits were not in place, accidents and deaths would occur at a greater rate than they already do. If we built wherever and however we wanted, we would also fall to our deaths faster--designing unstable buildings at dangerous heights (no bueno). And if there were no rules on taxes (imagine optional tax?!), our society would not be funded and we wouldn't get paved roads or functioning street lights.

So these rules are good for something!

The same goes for the rules God put into place for us. Laws on how to treat your neighbors, on what thoughts are permissible, on what marriage means, on what kind of person we should be.

I was thinking about these rules, laws, precepts, statutes last night as I faded to sleep. Why don't I adhere to these better? Why do I make the choice to follow some rules and disregard others? Aren't they for MY benefit?

If I choose to drive at 100mph, people would look at me crazy and worry for my safety. If I choose to entertain thoughts that are not pure, true, noble, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8), my outlook on life, my perception of people and my actions start to reflect these negative, hurtful thoughts. Isn't that dangerous?

And David comes to the same conclusion: I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life (Psalm 119: 93). The rules and laws of God are to help us, never to harm us; to give us a bright future, one that He has planned since the beginning of time.

So, I am going to try something. I'm not perfect, yet so I have lots of room to grown. Let's try moral excellence for size. 21 days of diligently following God's precepts: my experiment on righteousness, and we'll see what the results are after those 21 days.

And one of the ways I'll know His statutes is by reading the word, hearing the word and studying the word.

Each day, I'll document what precept I learned and how I lived by it. I'll keep notes on my computer and share progress results every few days (God help me). Not in my strength, but in His strength alone because we all know that being human is such a struggle!

Independent variables: God's laws, i.e. the Bible
Dependent variables: My progress

Constant: Reading the Word at 9:30 am every morning and spending at least 10 minutes in prayer in the mornings. Wooo. LORD, help me. Give me the dedication and the commitment (which I'm not very good at yet...surprise surprise).

Alright, I'll take it one day at a time. That's life, right?

Here's to this experiment!

Much love, peace and elbow grease,

Ife "Quipayan" S.

New Kind of Monster

Found on Hanging10withBosco.com

Hello friendlies,
In order for this short post to make sense, you have to see this YouTube video (F-bomb alert)! 

1. Spoken word is awesome (watch the video if you STILL haven't).

2. This particular video reminded me, as a Christian, I try and have this look, this image going for me -
*Pumpkin: the well rounded Christian, not too obnoxious, not too bland, just right.
*Fairy: the Christian doing the most good
*Turtle: the Christian no one hates
*M 'n' M: the Christian that's got it ALL going on 

The super chill, holy, Jesus-filled, walking the straight and narrow. Christian.

But, there's a lot of darkness inside that I don't want others to see, the freak show underneath:
(enter OLD creature Ife)

 "....all that I am don't fit prettily into polyester and spandex [i.e. Los 10 Commandments for me]. I'd much rather be a Sasquatch, Godzilla, King Kong, Loch Ness goblin, ghoul, a zombie with no conscious [ . . . ] I'd much rather be vampire. My reflection disappearing every time I looked in the mirror so I wouldn't have to worry about flaws that stare blankly back at me."

Pause. Stop and Consider

2 Corinthians 5:17, the Bible

 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: 

The old has gone, the new is here!"

"On a bad day, I'm human." My organs fail, my flaws shine bright like a diamond, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. On a good day, I become like the vampire-don't see my flaws, I'm like the mummy-dead to me, and I'm like the boogeyman-the devil's worst nightmare. My flaws are thrown so far away from me, my old rebellious, enslaved self is dead and buried and I become a new kind of threat.

Not out of my own power, but of a power that resides in me (that I call Jesus power) and can shine through when I'm not trying to control. So, yes. I choose to be monster, a new kind of monster.

Pause.

2 Corinthians 5:17

 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: 

The old has gone, the new is here!"

"I've heard that some of the most beautiful women are the craziest ones."

*Side Note: Props to the ladies on the video. All the quoted parts not cited are their words, not mine.*

What a Gift

If I passed up this opportunity to speak, my heart would be restless.

I take my blessings where I get them. When the light turns green as I am running 4 minutes late to work, when the winds blow gently enough that I sense the seasons change, when I nearly escape accidents on the road because of my zombie-like driving habits, when I can pay all my bills and can take a flight home on the holidays. I count those blessings every day because some people don't get the ray of sunshine that day. Their days, which turn into weeks, are marked by the onslaught of rain. The rain that doesn't let up and is matched with dark clouds that overshadow the potential for a sliver of sun light.

I've had dark days. Days where I can't help a student, days where I let my pride get in the way of being someone's saving grace, days where I can't see the purpose of anything I'm doing. But my days don't get as dark as the days where Death releases a soul.

Regardless, these past few weeks, I've come to know Death more than I would have hoped. Witnessing its effects and the myriad of responses we have to its presence.

We outright refuse Death: No! This can't be happening!
We tremble: Please! Tell me it isn't true?
We dismiss Death: What happened? What was wrong? How is this true?
We break down where tears and pain are inconsolable. Our strength is zapped.

I've prayed. Cried. Sung. Sat in silence.
And somehow the pain of loss becomes dulled by the joy of life. Life is a gift!

This person was given a gift. And, God willing, they used it and shared this gift with others.
Gifts are precious because gifts are a gesture of love. From His heart to ours. From the treasures of gold, rubies, diamonds, fancy cars and clothes, He chose to give us another person in our life with whom we could share our joys, our hopes, our sadness and our victories.

Life given is a gesture of love.
Life taken is a signal that the presence of that person is no more, but their legacy will live on in me. I am now all the better because I've been given this gift and whoever they were is now part of me. What a gift.

To this end, we should cry the tears of pain, then cry the tears of joy because you've been given a precious gift because He loves you. That love is never ending, be it in the form of a person or otherwise. That love, let's embrace that love.

(P.S. I haven't lost anyone particularly close to me, but life's meaning hit me significantly these past few weeks. I celebrate life.)

Denying Myself

Saudade! I hope everyone is well and enjoying whatever is left of this Friday or Saturday if you're in another part of the world. As much as I wish I had good reason for not blogging in a while, I do not. Let's just get to the point of the blog.

On my off day (Fridays), I like to spend some good quality time with God and catch up on the word. Today isn't any different. Using Our Daily Bread as a starting point, it directed me to Luke 9:18-27.

Verses 23 & 24 really stuck out to me as being a bold request, like a take-it-or-leave-it request. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

Let's break these verses down:

First, I looked up the word 'DENY' in Merriam-Webster dictionary online and this is what I found:

Definition of DENY

1

: to declare untrue <deny an allegation>

2

: to refuse to admit or acknowledge : disavow <denyresponsibility>

3

a : to give a negative answer to <denying the petitioners>

b : to refuse to grant <deny a request>

c : to restrain (oneself) from gratification of desires

4

archaic : decline

5

: to refuse to accept the existence, truth, or validity of

(Bolded and enlarged by me for emphasis)

The 3rd definition seems to fit well with the verse, but it was the 5th definition that made me unsettled. What if we were to refuse to accept the existence of ourselves and only acknowledged the Jesus in us? I ran this through my brain a bit more and couldn't quite justify the complete denying of myself as it would play out in the 5th definition. It's an extreme response to the things of this world. A hot-or-cold decision, a complete denial. 

I then came back to the 3rd definition, part c. "To restrain (oneself) from gratification of desires." Does that seem to work better in the verse? I refuse myself of the things I want, instead say 'yes' to the things of God. No to me, yes to God. No to me, yes to God.

No to laziness, yes to faithfulness

No to apathy, yes to compassion

No to limited, yes to limitless

No to inappropriate tv/movies/books/media, yes to uplifting, encouraging, fulfilling things.

No to "I can't", yes to "He can"

No to me, myself and I, yes to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

No to "I can do better", yes to "Help me to do better"

No to using my talents and gifts for me, yes to using my talents and gifts for Him, for His people and for the world.

Wow. That took a lot of deep digging. There are many more things that I should say no to and many more things that I will say yes to. By God's grace, this week will be better because I am saying 'Yes' to God every chance I get. 'Yes' to His love in me, 'yes' to His power in me, 'yes' to His direction for my life; yes to Christ.

"...If anyone would come after me [Christ], he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Blessings.

Tents at the Crossroads

It's time, yes another time, to delve into the undramatic life of Ife S. Despite the long hiatus, sabbatical, I am back here to stay! : applause:

Thank you, thank you for the warm welcome. I've missed you all dearly and, to be honest, I don't remember why I haven't been more up to do. But, it's alright; life happens.

These past few months (8 months to be exact) of living back at home have been so overwhelming at times and underwhelming at others. If I could wrap up this period of my life and illustrate it in a picture, it would be winding roads and pathways that lead off the page, into the great unknown.

The unknown was never a scary place for me. I would purposely hit my tennis balls into the forest (basically bushes and trees in the park) just so that I could have an adventure in the great wild! Even from my tiny tots days, I would leap into great waters (the local swimming pool) hoping to run into a shark so that I could implement the most epic escape ever. I dreamt of daring stunts and running from wolves, zig-zagging between trees to reach the edge of the mountain's cliff and leap into the sun free falling to the earth and landing unscathed. That was the me that delighted in the unknown.

But now...

    now, the unknown is my crippling enemy. That kryptonite to my Superwoman power, the Delilah to my Samson strength,

And I am fed up of the fear. I do blame the people around me though. It is 80-20, with me carrying only a slight fault in my current state. They filled my head with 'what ifs' and 'think again' and 'no' and 'are you sure?'. I never stood at crossroads for very long. I was always making choices and willingly living with whatever consequences, good or bad, because I knew why and was okay with that. Nevertheless, these days I spend most of my time picnicking at the crossroad, watching people go by and constantly turning around to see if my past will help me figure out the future.

Friends, this is not a good place to camp, or sink your roots. Not a good place at all.

Next installment, fixing this issue. Until then, sayanora!

Pain, pain go away...

...come again another day.

Just watched a sermon from The Journey about how we respond to pain.

How Ife responds to pain:

• Ignore it--I'm really good at ignoring things that bring me pain because I can always watch a movie, go on Facebook, read a book or do something that makes me happy.
• Suppress it--My motto: Out of sight, out of mind.
• Down play it--"It's part of life; just let it be."
• Blog about it!--my favorite...generally makes me feel better

But the sermon that Darrin Patrick shared asks us to go to God with our pain. I sometimes do that...and then blog about it still. I know my God is all powerful, but I am sometimes too deep in the pain to think about how to properly approach God about my situation, which defeats the purpose of trusting Him; He needs to prep work because He wants me just as I am...a mess.

So, next time you're in pain, foresee pain or witness pain, go to God with it first and ask Him to work out a healing process. 

Here is the link to the sermon. Great stuff with great solutions. He pulls from the all too popular book of Habakkuk---now, where is that?

Much love, peace and praying grease,

Ife 'Quipayan' S. 

Choosing to surrender

You would think that after 22 years of life, I would have figured somethings out. Well, I haven't. I haven't figured out how to:

1. Keep my room clean for more than 2 weeks
2. Write a research paper over a span of 1 month
3. Not binge spend
4. Follow Jesus

Chris Tomlin's song I Will Follow You

"All your ways are good. All your ways are sure." This line reminds me that I should want to follow Jesus' ways, follow in His footsteps and learn for Him. I know I've repeated many times that it's not about me, but sometimes I twist this. I recognize God in me and what He's called me to do, however, I recently thought about what that really means and looks like. 

        In my heart, I want to remember that when I say I follow Jesus and I want Him to use me, I recognize that I have a choice to disobey. I recognize that ultimately following Jesus is a decision to surrender. Surrender. This word is scary because it calls us to relinquish control. Control over our body, over our heart, over our actions and our thoughts. Complete surrender. That's what following Jesus is about, not saying "Okay, Jesus I see your plan and I think I'm down for that because it fits my plan too!"  It's saying "Whoa, Jesus. I see you doing really radical things and though the person of Ife would rather run, I made a choice to follow you, and I will." It's a relationship to follow knowing that He's done it first.

       He's been there already. He's defeated death already. He's freed me from "wrongs" and "rights". The standards that I live by are not of this world.

This is my prayer. I've prayed it so many times. To fully surrender. It's a process so today I start with a surrender of my body. My body chooses to recognize that I've been bought with a price and I do not belong to myself.

SN: I'm shaking my head thinking about what I chose to do. Surrender. What!?! Alright Jesus, I'm embarking on this journey and you know I'll be laughing all the way.

Being George Zimmerman

Warning: The example in this blog involves the case on Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman and calls the reader to imagine.


         Imagine George Zimmerman was pronounced not-guilty, not deserving of the punishment he should get. With all the evidence going on and surfacing, it's hard, for me, to see why he has not been arrested. Imagine that the judge recognizes this. The jury recognizes this. Even his own attorney recognizes this. And what is the judgement call? A pardon.

After killing in cold blood, throwing out racial slurs, lying to the police, faking a beat up, disobeying authorities, sparking nation wide uproar, he is allowed to walk away 

unpunished.

But why? How can anyone see this evidence and make this case?

           They do see the evidence and are ready to make a guilty call, but suddenly his dad steps up and takes the place of his son. Robert Zimmerman approaches the judge and the jury begging to take the place of his son so he won't have to face the consequences of his actions. They agree. Even Martin's family agrees. Someone must pay the price. And when that price is paid, George Zimmerman is pronounced justified with the Martin family because someone else paid the price, he himself does not have to.

Imagine the uproar! The outcries of the nations!

How can someone so bad be given a second chance to life? How can this wretched man be allowed to live? HE MUST PAY!!

Imagine the feeling of liberation on the part of G. Zimmerman!

"I don't deserve this!" "I am unworthy of this sacrifice." "I did all these bad things, but don't have to pay the ultimate consequence for it?" Zimmerman will carry the guilt, will forever be at the mercy of the Martin family and will never be able to repay ANYONE for the pardon he was given. 

Imagine if you were George Zimmerman.

I am George Zimmerman.

I am guilty of passing judgement on my friends because of my holier-than-thou mentality

I am guilty of lying to my parents so they won't know what I do at school.

I am guilty of betraying my best friend to see a guy that I thought I was interested in.

I am guilty of pretending to be/do who I am not.

I am guilty of being bitter because I'm jealous, angry because I am defiant and lashing out because I refuse to see eye-to-eye.

For all the times I am Trayvon Martin--being misunderstood by society, friends, family--I am many times over George Zimmerman. 

But if it were not for the sacrifice someone else took in my place, I would have paid the consequences. I should have paid the consequences. That alone is enough to recognize my imperfection. I will never be perfect and so I have no choice by to be at the mercy of my Father. To say " God, have mercy on me, a sinner." 

Unlike George Zimmerman, though, I have someone who willing takes my place and in doing so, compels me to right my wronged relationships. The mercy and love I have been showing is not without its return. By accepting the sacrifice in my place, I am called to respond by showing that same mercy to others and pointing them to the hope that the sacrifice gives. Hope that promises:

"He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

(Psalm 103:9-12)

I will eternally apologize for my mistakes, the way I hurt people, but with the Love I've received, I desire to do better and be better. I don't deserve this pardon, but I want to live right because that's what accepting a pardon calls us to do.

How have you hurt your fellow human being?
What should your punishments be?

How do you respond to this judgment call of a pardon?

*Jesus does not condone murder nor any act of discrimination, stereotyping, or hate, so neither do I. This isn't a perfect portrayal of the sacrifice Jesus made, but it's only to give us a glimpse into the concept of forgiveness and pardon. 

Psalm 23-In Arabic

 اَلرَّبُّ رَاعِيَّ فَلاَ يُعْوِزُنِي شَيْءٌ. 2 فِي مَرَاعٍ خُضْرٍ يُرْبِضُنِي. إِلَى مِيَاهِ الرَّاحَةِ يُورِدُنِي. 3 يَرُدُّ نَفْسِي. يَهْدِينِي إِلَى سُبُلِ الْبِرِّ مِنْ أَجْلِ اسْمِهِ. 4 أَيْضاً إِذَا سِرْتُ فِي وَادِي ظِلِّ الْمَوْتِ لاَ أَخَافُ شَرّاً لأَنَّكَ أَنْتَ مَعِي. عَصَاكَ وَعُكَّازُكَ هُمَا يُعَزِّيَانِنِي. 5 تُرَتِّبُ قُدَّامِي مَائِدَةً تُجَاهَ مُضَايِقِيَّ. مَسَحْتَ بِالدُّهْنِ رَأْسِي. كَأْسِي رَيَّا. 6 إِنَّمَا خَيْرٌ وَرَحْمَةٌ يَتْبَعَانِنِي كُلَّ أَيَّامِ حَيَاتِي وَأَسْكُنُ فِي بَيْتِ الرَّبِّ إِلَى مَدَى الأَيَّامِ. 

مزامير 23 

http://www.copticchurch.net/cgibin/bible/index.php?r=psalms+23&version=SVD&btn=View&showVN=1 

I'm doing a presentation in my Arabic class about the 3 religious texts and me toca presentar sobre la biblia  (injeel--which literally means the Gospel). I'm excited to read it, but I have to pray for clarity because sometimes I stumble when I read in public, but will do perfectly when I'm reading by myself. 

Anyway, it's a good day and I thank God for the weather even though my allergies are acting up. Oh well. I'll just look extra high. Nbd. 

Until next time,

Ife 'Quipayan' S. 

The difference-God in Guyana

It took a 3,000 mile trip for me to come back and realize why I have put my life into the hands of someone I can't see. Am I crazy?

It took 4 hours for 4 days in the sun and swollen ankles for me to realize that the relationship I claim with Jesus isn't just for me. Am I selfish?

It took long conversations waay past my [Guyana] bedtime to realize that I love Jesus way more than I actually convey. Am I serious?

Guyana was an amazing experience and I hope that I get to share it with you, reader, because God did wonders in me. I can't fully explain in one blog, but I realized why my life was different from that of those who don't believe--I have hope.

Paul lays it out when he writes to the Thessalonian church in the first letter, 4th chapter 13th verse:

"Brothers, we don't want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope."

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. 

This is what I have been given by putting my life into the hands of someone bigger than me and this is what I deeply want to share with others, because Jesus is the hope of all the world. It only took 1 week, 3,000 miles, 10 mosquito bites and a team of dysfunctional people to remind me of this.

Much love, peace and hopeful grease,

Ife 'Quipayan' S. 

Be Like Christ

I am pretty sure that I've read this verse a million and 7 times, but it always reminds me of what I can improve on in my life. 

Philippians 2: 3-4 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

               It sounded much simpler to me than it does when I actually try to put it into practice. As humans, we can be very selfish and self-satisfying. When I tell a good story (as I often like to do), I do that because 1) I know I can be a good story teller, but also 2) I like hearing people approve of what I do. Is that wrong?

             Heaven knows that it's not my intention to be selfish, so is there something that describes what I do if it's not selfishness? I won't try to justify this because I can't, but when it comes down to caring for people, I want to be able to do it the way Jesus Christ did it. He told stories to save souls.

          I encourage you, dear reader, to take time to grapple with this verse (and the passage in general which talks about humility) and see how much better our world would be if we all had this mentality. I guess next time I tell a story, it should be for the uplifting of others, making them see the Jesus in me 'cause I'm trying to be like Christ.

Alright homies, until next time.

Much love, peace and selfless grease,

Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Love: Unfailing

Well, good morning partner. Howdy there?

At 45 degrees the next morning, the snow was all gone. No trace.

         The snow fell to the Earth quite heavily the other day and after running into CC, we concluded that this was perfect weather for sledding. We borrowed some food trays from our favorite cafeteria on the North Side and hurriedly made our way to the slopes. We fell, tumbled, face planted, rolled and got back up many times that evening. And on our way out, a young woman, fully covered with appropriate snow gear, walks by and says "Howdy?" At least that's what I thought she said. In all actuality, she was inquiring of our experience: "How was it?" Though my response was "Hi!", it made sense to me when two of my friends respond with a "It was great!". I caught the mistake later.


             It seems that there are many times in our lives that we  hear the wrong things and this in turn affects our actions and what we do/say. After reading Psalm 13:1-6, I realized I haven't been fully comprehending what God wants from me. He says "Love me." I love and love and love until I pass out and can't get out of bed for the morning church service. The feelings of guilt start to pile up even further as I spend less and less time with Him in regular devotion in the morning. I shake my head and let it hang in embarrassment at my lack of dedication.

           Although God deeply desires that I love Him with ALL that I have, He knows that there is no way that I'll ever love Him fully and perfectly. "But I trust in your unfailing love..." That word 'unfailing' can only be applied to Him.

He says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." (Matt 22:37) I heard "If you can't love me perfectly, you are a failure."

        But what He's really say is "There is no on righteous, not even one" (Romans 3:10) but "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9) In my imperfect ways, God is perfect.

In my unfaithful ways, God is faithful. He never fails. 

        So, the more I listen to God, the more I realize, sometimes I just miss what He's saying and that makes all the difference. Now, I don't have to beat myself up when I don't do things perfectly, but simply trust in Him to get me to where He wants be to be and know that He's still working on me and will continue to until the end of time. That is my forever (unfailing) Love. <--A great song!

Until next time with much love, peace and unfailing grease,


Ife 'Quipayan' S.

What's your nature?

Bonjour friends and fans!

This morning's devotion comes from Galatians 5:16-26. It's been a long while since I've sit to write a devotions blog during the week. I've really gone to the other end of the spectrum in terms of where I was with my morning routine. I barely wake up early enough to get myself together and get to class. Pretty problematic, but this week is the week things change, in Jesus' name. I claim it.

The scripture outlines what it means to "live in the Spirit". It's not fully clear to me, but what I can say it that there are always two forces in us: the Spirit and our human nature. Human nature is the part of us that usually leads us to doing bad unhealthy things. In my case it is: staying up watching Youtube videos, eating 2 pints of ice cream, putting sleep over time with my Creator, dressing in ways to get attention from people, the list goes on. The Bible gives its own list: "sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft;  hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like." Extensive enough?

The Bible refers to this nature as the sinful nature meaning that as humans we are innately sinful. That's just the way we are, but that isn't where the story ends.

If we choose to accept that there is a part of us that never seems to get things right, then how in the world do we do right things? There's another part to us that desires to do good--for some people they've chosen to live this life style specifically by living according to the Spirit. What a vague term! Living according to the Spirit means that the things we do are not done because we need to fulfill the law and get approval from anyone, but instead it is the freedom to express love without fear and to restore the areas of our world that have been broken. That's what the Spirit has started meaning to me.

So what that leaves us with is two choices: Spirit vs. human. We always have these two choices, whether we recognize it or not. There are times when one is clearer than the other and there are times when both seem legit, but at the end of the day, we always have to choose which we will live by. Every action we take comes down to these two natures. What nature do you choose? One will lead to life and joy, the other will lead to death and failure.

I have to start deeply evaluating my actions and realize that to live according to the Spirit is so much better for me. I can't make these really important choices on my own at times, so I'm accepting the help that God gives at no cost.

Until later,

Ife 'Quipayan' S.

P.S. It's almost the one month mark of school this final semester and Valentine's day is on Tuesday. What are you doing?!

Intimacy with the Almighty-A Journey

Ahlan ya al-naas.

I hope you're enjoying this fabulous Sunday afternoon! As much as I would love to sit and chat with you all about what's been going down in my life, I want to take this time to lay out what I'm about this semester: An adventure. I stayed home from church today because I really wanted God to talk to me this morning about certain things and didn't want any kind of distraction. Granted, I ended up looking at my bank statement, updating Twitter and selling books on Amazon..fail...I need discipline.

Which brings me to my next point and the reason for this slight change in the direction for my blog. I started reading this book entitled: Intimacy with the Almighty a year ago, but have finally decided to take it seriously and take my relationship with God more seriously. I'd like to use this space to process thoughts after reading this book every other day. There are 4 basic chapters and reflection questions after them. I won't answer ALL the questions here, but it'll be nice to update the blog every now and then.

The book encourages intimacy and a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father as something to strive for and something that'll take discipline and changes in our lives.

For me that will be the biggest obstacle. I love DOING things. I always want to be involved and have very little discipline. As soon as I read the first few pages I knew that I had to step down from the next show I am supposed to do. I am the biggest fan of shows and productions, but I can't handle anything else in my life at the expense of relating with God and others. This will also help in discipline because it's something that I have work at, not just something that'll happen between meetings, class and hw.

Finally, the verse that got me to commit is this from Revelations 2:

"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lamp stands, says this: 'I know your deeds and your toils and perseverance, and that you cannot endure evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary, But I have this against you, that you have left your first love."

vs. 1-4

I know how amazing God's love is, but there are times when I realize that I'm running around without Him, trying to make it on my own. That's whack and I want this to change because life is so much more complete with Him in it. That I know for sure. 

Next entry is the first chapter of this book by Charles R. Swindoll. Let the journey begin!

The Climb-by Miley Cyrus for some inspirational stuff. 

Until later,

            Ife "Quipayan" S. 

Thank you!

Hello friends, family and world-wide readers!

I can't thank you enough for taking time to read my blog. These past 4 years of my college experience have left lots to think about and even more to write about.

I hope it's been great for you as it has been for me because you are all special people that I truly care about so I try to put my best foot forward, as shabby as that may be: I'm a work in progress. :)

Again, lots of thanks and a wonderful rest of the week. Till next time,


Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Talk the walk

As a Christian, one of the things that is always on my mind is how to better live a Christ-pleasing life. What can I do today to make my Father in heaven pleased or in what way can I share His love with someone today? I can usually spot small gestures here and there, but usually end up doing things that anyone, Christ seeking or not, would do.

Story:
After many hours of sitting at the train station in Amtrak, I was gazing off into the shuffle of people waiting for the moment when I could pack my load and hop on the train bound for STL. It was then that I saw an elderly man asking for money, but didn't really have anything to offer him so I ignored his pleas for extra change. My eyes then wandered slowly to the Deli that was situated neatly along the furthest wall of the station's grand waiting area. I thought, "Since I don't believe money is the best I can give, why not buy him a meal instead?" Resolved, I turned to call his attention, but found that he was far from me and I was not about to leave my luggage. I figured that I'd catch up with him later on my way out while he made his rounds.

Long story short, I found him, bought him a substantial meal (so I thought). He wasn't fully content with a simple sandwich so he asked for coffee, an egg, and a fruit cup. I smiled and let him decide on what to get. I was glad to be able to help and that God had placed me in a place to give this man what he wanted. As I was leaving, he called me back. He thanks me and asks if I could further contribute to his collection plate so he could get food tomorrow.

For some reason, I became indignant. I eyed his collection of dollars he had in his hand and then gently snapped. "Haven't you been collecting money? What do you plan to use that for?" He responds with an answer that I found lacking: "Well, I just need money for coffee tomorrow. Could you give me some?" My retort was less than pleasing to say or hear: "I just paid $12 for your meal and you're asking me to give you more money! Sorry, I can't do that. You have money so you can use that."

None of that was in love. I was angry. Angry that he had the nerve to ask me for more money and angry that I had actually spent $12 on a stranger when I limit my own meals to $10. I then stalked out of the establishment with less than enough in my stomach to warrant a complete rage--it would consume too much of my energy.

--After reading Matthew 6:1-4, I realized that yes, I am capable of doing "good deeds" that make me sacrifice for others, but what am I doing it for? I know I wasn't going to go around bragging, but something inside me still wasn't in the right place. I had given to the needy, but my humility wasn't in check. I never thought that I would be the one to not talk the walk.--

So where do I go from here?: 1) Die to myself everyday. I can't profess to be following Jesus if I'm dwelling in my human nature and making things work out for me the way I want them to be. 2) Ask God to continually pull me into places of unease. When I better realize that I am to be used by Him, then I know that  this has nothing to do with me or my places of comfort. 3) Seek forgiveness when I miss the mark.

I missed the mark, but my Father is gracious and loving.

-Ife 'Quipayan' S.

The struggle

Have you ever thought that things would be better if only you knew what the future held? Then I would have known not to freak out last night.

Last night, in preparation for my two exams today, I struggled so hard to stay awake and make sense of what I was reading. All in vain. Sort of. I spent so many hours doing things to make sure I was preparing for the exams: I cancelled dinner dates, lunch dates, hang out time just so I could put myself in the best possible position to succeed.

But all to no avail. Not much was accomplished yesterday. Quite saddening. (God and I still have to talk about that), but this morning I woke up and cranked out the paper in 2 hours (5 pages) and spent time with God just thanking Him and realizing how much life does not depend on me.

Maybe that's it...I can't control life. Only He can. I know that, but maybe He was reminding me....idk. It still doesn't make sense to me.

As I head back to my studying, I just want to wish you all the best in whatever it is you've got to do today. No matter how difficult it is, ask God for motivation and a reason to keep on the grind.

Much love, peace and elbow grease,

       Ife 'Quipayan' S.

In Love

They say
"Love is blind!" 

I don't know who 'they' is, but love should not be blind.

I understand what it's supposed to mean: Love does not see the negative things in others.
I also understand that to be unhealthy. If I see my brother eating sand and choking, I'm not just going to let him continue because I love him and chose to overlook the negative. Love sees the negative, addresses it, and learns to forgive it.

"Love is patient, love is kind." Why don't we live by these rules? Love keeps loving in spite of the negative. Love is not only for romantic relationships and love is not just expressed physically.

Jesus met up with this woman at the well in John 4. She was basically the outcast of the outcasts. Even the marginalized people didn't like her. She was a Samaritan and a woman.

I want to point out is how Jesus shows His love. (Note: love is shown, not just talked about or thought about). She asks Him to provide her with a life source that never runs out: living water! He agrees and the dialogue goes down like this:

Jesus says, "Go, call your husband and come back."
She replies, "uh...I have no husband."
Jesus agrees, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."
[Insert your response here]

The conversation continues (read the rest here!!). But the point is, Jesus calls her out, because He loves her. He's not trying to get a good laugh, nor does want to hurt her. He touches that sore spot so she can realize that love is not blind to her pain, her shame or her sin.

So, tell me again why love is supposed to be blind?

He wants to heal the pain, take away the shame and keep us from sin. That's the kind of love I want. Don't you? *If you're not feeling this love and what to, holla at me. We can talk.*


Deuces,
   Ife 'Quipayan' S.

P.S. I'm just feeling extra loved today because God sees me (in all my nastiness and downfalls) and still loves.  Welps...gotta go write this paper and study me some Arabic. Chao or should I say Ma'salaama!?