Denying Myself

Saudade! I hope everyone is well and enjoying whatever is left of this Friday or Saturday if you're in another part of the world. As much as I wish I had good reason for not blogging in a while, I do not. Let's just get to the point of the blog.

On my off day (Fridays), I like to spend some good quality time with God and catch up on the word. Today isn't any different. Using Our Daily Bread as a starting point, it directed me to Luke 9:18-27.

Verses 23 & 24 really stuck out to me as being a bold request, like a take-it-or-leave-it request. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

Let's break these verses down:

First, I looked up the word 'DENY' in Merriam-Webster dictionary online and this is what I found:

Definition of DENY

1

: to declare untrue <deny an allegation>

2

: to refuse to admit or acknowledge : disavow <denyresponsibility>

3

a : to give a negative answer to <denying the petitioners>

b : to refuse to grant <deny a request>

c : to restrain (oneself) from gratification of desires

4

archaic : decline

5

: to refuse to accept the existence, truth, or validity of

(Bolded and enlarged by me for emphasis)

The 3rd definition seems to fit well with the verse, but it was the 5th definition that made me unsettled. What if we were to refuse to accept the existence of ourselves and only acknowledged the Jesus in us? I ran this through my brain a bit more and couldn't quite justify the complete denying of myself as it would play out in the 5th definition. It's an extreme response to the things of this world. A hot-or-cold decision, a complete denial. 

I then came back to the 3rd definition, part c. "To restrain (oneself) from gratification of desires." Does that seem to work better in the verse? I refuse myself of the things I want, instead say 'yes' to the things of God. No to me, yes to God. No to me, yes to God.

No to laziness, yes to faithfulness

No to apathy, yes to compassion

No to limited, yes to limitless

No to inappropriate tv/movies/books/media, yes to uplifting, encouraging, fulfilling things.

No to "I can't", yes to "He can"

No to me, myself and I, yes to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

No to "I can do better", yes to "Help me to do better"

No to using my talents and gifts for me, yes to using my talents and gifts for Him, for His people and for the world.

Wow. That took a lot of deep digging. There are many more things that I should say no to and many more things that I will say yes to. By God's grace, this week will be better because I am saying 'Yes' to God every chance I get. 'Yes' to His love in me, 'yes' to His power in me, 'yes' to His direction for my life; yes to Christ.

"...If anyone would come after me [Christ], he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Blessings.

Eager Beaver

Hola,

So, last night I watched Julie & Julia, a film written and directed by Nora Ephron. If you haven't seen it, then don't worry; I won't give anything away. If you have seen it, I must say that I was surprisingly inspired. Though I couldn't handle all the scenes, I thought it was such a motivational film. I found it inspirational for 3 reasons:

1. It followed the story of two women who shared similar paths in life, but were able to overcome them,
2. It was a relatable experience that they shared (not that I adore cooking). It was not an acting gig or a dance recital (or maybe I'm just bad at them), and
3. It wasn't extrememly dramatic. I could handle the breakdowns and the drawbacks. It was believable (I mean...it's based on TWO true stories).

Because of that, I was inspired. First and foremost to continue this blog :) and secondly to find something I am passionate about and chronicle it's growth. This is the hard part.

I haven't found this 'chronicable' passion yet, but I'm searching. I also want it to be meaningful. Not just to watch 101 greatest movies of all times in 1 month or finish the rest of the seasons of Lost in 2 months.

Meaningful. What it is? I don't know, but I'll let you know later on. I'm excited for this possible journey and how I'll be growing from it. It's weird because my summer plans aren't set in stone yet but, God willing, it'll be by next week and then I'll plan this "chronicable" passion.

Oh, the possibilities. Delicious.