Psalm 23-In Arabic

 اَلرَّبُّ رَاعِيَّ فَلاَ يُعْوِزُنِي شَيْءٌ. 2 فِي مَرَاعٍ خُضْرٍ يُرْبِضُنِي. إِلَى مِيَاهِ الرَّاحَةِ يُورِدُنِي. 3 يَرُدُّ نَفْسِي. يَهْدِينِي إِلَى سُبُلِ الْبِرِّ مِنْ أَجْلِ اسْمِهِ. 4 أَيْضاً إِذَا سِرْتُ فِي وَادِي ظِلِّ الْمَوْتِ لاَ أَخَافُ شَرّاً لأَنَّكَ أَنْتَ مَعِي. عَصَاكَ وَعُكَّازُكَ هُمَا يُعَزِّيَانِنِي. 5 تُرَتِّبُ قُدَّامِي مَائِدَةً تُجَاهَ مُضَايِقِيَّ. مَسَحْتَ بِالدُّهْنِ رَأْسِي. كَأْسِي رَيَّا. 6 إِنَّمَا خَيْرٌ وَرَحْمَةٌ يَتْبَعَانِنِي كُلَّ أَيَّامِ حَيَاتِي وَأَسْكُنُ فِي بَيْتِ الرَّبِّ إِلَى مَدَى الأَيَّامِ. 

مزامير 23 

http://www.copticchurch.net/cgibin/bible/index.php?r=psalms+23&version=SVD&btn=View&showVN=1 

I'm doing a presentation in my Arabic class about the 3 religious texts and me toca presentar sobre la biblia  (injeel--which literally means the Gospel). I'm excited to read it, but I have to pray for clarity because sometimes I stumble when I read in public, but will do perfectly when I'm reading by myself. 

Anyway, it's a good day and I thank God for the weather even though my allergies are acting up. Oh well. I'll just look extra high. Nbd. 

Until next time,

Ife 'Quipayan' S. 

The struggle

Have you ever thought that things would be better if only you knew what the future held? Then I would have known not to freak out last night.

Last night, in preparation for my two exams today, I struggled so hard to stay awake and make sense of what I was reading. All in vain. Sort of. I spent so many hours doing things to make sure I was preparing for the exams: I cancelled dinner dates, lunch dates, hang out time just so I could put myself in the best possible position to succeed.

But all to no avail. Not much was accomplished yesterday. Quite saddening. (God and I still have to talk about that), but this morning I woke up and cranked out the paper in 2 hours (5 pages) and spent time with God just thanking Him and realizing how much life does not depend on me.

Maybe that's it...I can't control life. Only He can. I know that, but maybe He was reminding me....idk. It still doesn't make sense to me.

As I head back to my studying, I just want to wish you all the best in whatever it is you've got to do today. No matter how difficult it is, ask God for motivation and a reason to keep on the grind.

Much love, peace and elbow grease,

       Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Me, myself and I

"I........." How many times a day do we start our sentences with 'I' or construct strings of sentences with the word 'I' in it? It's hard to avoid it, I know. It's important that we use 'I' for several reasons such as giving someone your point of view or sharing the most riveting experience of something that happened to you. Then there are situations when we insert the 'I' unnecessarily. Someone is talking about their day (because you asked) and they pause for two seconds and you pick up where they left off. Observe:

You: Hey, Julie! How are you?
Julie: Great, fam. I just ran into my ex-boyfriend and he's not angry with me anymore. I was going to uh (pause)
You: Wait. What?! He said what? If I were you, I would have walked away right there. You know it wasn't your fault, so why does he think he has to forgive you?!Who does he think he is? I wish my ex-boyfriend would come up to me and say he's not mad. Let him be mad. I don't care!
Julie: (pause)......it's not about you.

This situation happened to me once. Really humbling and kinda awkward. My friend was right. It wasn't about me. Nor did he ask for my input. He was simply telling me a story that all I needed to do was listen.

(See how many times 'I' has been used by me?)

I'm trying to learn to think less of myself. Especially as a Christian. 2 Corinthians 2: 1-5 touches on the fact that what we have to say does not compare with what God has to say. The more we think that we are providing the greatest information or even good information, we should check ourselves. What is God saying? Seriously...

"When I came to you, brothers, I didn't no come with eloquence or superiors wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God." vs. 1 --Paul is saying that what he brought to the table, is nothing. He had to eloquence or superior wisdom. But what he testified to was what made the difference. When we start testifying about ourselves and looking inwardly, we can truly bring the Kingdom and look outwardly.

Take a step back. Read 1Cor. 2 for yourself. Recognize it's not about 'I'. Speak words that testify to God's person. 


Much love, peace, and outward-looking grease,
           Ife 'Quipayan' S. 


P.S. It's reading week and exams officially start on Thursday, but I have one everyday this week. Great. Only God can take me through....I should really stop focusing on what I can do and look to what God is capable of doing. Looking outward.

The Remedy

Oh HEEEEY beautiful reader!


I just want to share these lyrics with you. Today, things panned out in a way I would NOT have imagined. After deciding not to skip a class and own up to my actions (possibly resulting in the loss of a potential position for next year), God still showed me His mercy. I figure I don't deserve it because I mess life up in different ways quite frequently, but the type of security I have in Him remains unshaken. 


Jesus is the only remedy to my craziness. 'The Remedy' by Ayiesha Woods.

A little too much time on your hand
So many things pressing your heart
Now you're caught up in a brain storm
And the winds are tearing you apart
And what matter the most now
Shouldn't matter at all
You forgot who's holding you up
And He won't let you fall

Who's in control of your life
And knows better than you ever will
Who tells you time and again
Hush and be still
It's time to recognize
That your answer in His eyes
Where the river flows If you'll just

Free your mind
And the peace of God will follow
Just give yourself a little time
Don't worry 'bout tomorrow

Don't you know that His joy is your strength
Can you fathom it
Peace beyond your understanding
When you gonna grab a hold of it
Cause you're life's not your own
You can't do it alone
There is a remedy if you will let go and just...

Free your mind
And the peace of God will follow
Just give yourself a little time
Don't worry 'bout tomorrow

Don't you know just thinking about it,
Ain't gonna add one hour
Tell me who's in control

'God, I am grateful for the fact that you're NOT human. You work things out in the most perfect way ever and kick in when I've thrown in the towel. You never give up on me which is great because I gave up on myself around 5:45am this morning. I'm sure my family sometimes wants to give up on me, but because you are YOU, that's just not the case. Not trying to take this for granted, so I'm here to say thank you for all you do on my behalf.'

Much love, peace and thankfulness grease,

    Ife 'Quipayan' S.

P.S. It's Tuesday! Yay!

Consequences of cabin fever

Oh splendid, splendid reader. You are the delightful surprise at the end of lull-inducing day.

I do a lot of self examination. (Nothing too deep otherwise I'll find something about myself that disgusts me).

 Life has been quite interesting for me. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I want my last year at WashU to be like and what I'd like to spend my last year doing.

And I've come to a conclusion: I want to spend my last year doing things that I love! Now, this is all rather relative because I can only do things that I love once I've gotten past doing things that I may not love. Ejemplo: I'd love to spend every moment singing, dancing or acting, but in order for that to happen, I have to do hw so I don't fail out of school.

However, there just isn't enough time in the day to do all that. What to do?? This is where I am now. How in the world is it possible to get all this done?

-----Also, I've become rather pessimistic these past few days. It's quite the problem. I barely even notice it either, that's how bad it is. I know when it started, but I can't credit that one incident to my recent outlook on life. Story: I read an article in StudLife today about how WashU's ranking dropped from being 13th to 14th (essentially breaking the tie between itself and another university). My reaction was to laugh. I laughed at what I thought was a stupid system of grading universities and how trivial this article seemed. I also attributed this decline to the students at the school. I feel like each year is less intelligent than the previous...or are we all just kidding ourselves in our level of intellectualism? But really though. The people here don't seem that much more intelligent that people I know elsewhere who attend non-ranked universities. -------

I have cabin fever and I want to get out. So badly. People at WashU are making me so upset it's crazy. I've never felt this way before and I hope it goes away otherwise I'mma get a 4.0 and peace out without doing much or enjoying my last year. I kinda don't care at this moment. I really just don't care. Unfortunately.

I may have dug too deep.

Let's be honest with ourselves....

Student-Morning-Dread syndrome

"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

I'm a senior in college!!! 3 years of experience under my belt and you would think I've figured it all out.

False. 

I woke up early and the first thing I felt was fear and disdain for my lifestyle as a student (late nights, early mornings, half-baked assignments, no breakfast, 4 hours of work ahead, strange smells in the kitchen etc). Those emotions, for me, create a cycle of being stuck and not knowing or desiring to move forward. I hate those moments. What makes it worse is when I can't catch a break to figure it all out. When I have that break, I just want to sleep (but really though). I call this the SMD (Student-Morning-Dread) syndrome. Define it however you like.

She got soft

I'm sitting in my dorm room thinking about what I want from this year in college. It's my last and I'm semi-scared that I won't do everything I want to do or fortify the friendships I hold so dear to me. (The following has nothing to do with this).

Reconcile

There are some things in life that are simply difficult:

• Learning how to ride a bike
• Losing a friend/family member
• Being BROKE!
• Waiting
• Being sincere about asking for forgiveness

The latter is what this passage (Genesis 32:1-5) focuses on. These 5 verses outline how Jacob went about reconciling with his brosky. The thing is that he was in the wrrrrong! Like, the farthest point from right. That's where Jacob was. 

(Some history: Jacob and Esau are brothers. Esau is older. Jacob is a thief. Jacob stole Esau's birthright and the blessing that is reserved for the firstborn. Jacob is a con man. He tricked his own daddy into thinking that he was Esau so he could get all this. Jacob is in the wrong.

Ladies and Gents...this is HUGE. Imagine having a relative falsify their identity to be you and then take ALL the $$ that was left for you!!! How would you feel? Precisely. Esau swore to kill his brother. Jacob is a coward. He ran away to live with his uncle for 20 years, who is also a con man; it runs in the family obviously.)

Back to the story: So God tells Jacob, enough is enough. He has got to reconcile with his brother...20 years later. He could have simply forgotten about the who ordeal and kept living his life...far, far, far away from his brother. BUT....that's not the way things turned out. He:

1. Traveled long miles to his brother's hood--initiated the process
2. Sent a message calling his brother 'my master' and himself 'your servant'--he humbled himself
3. He expressed that he hoped to "find favor in your [Esau's] eyes"--he sincerely asked for forgiveness

Honestly, I have a hard time with asking for forgiveness, especially after such a long time. I like to think time heals, but the steps Jacob took led him to having a great relationship with his brother and expresses what God wants for us in our relationships. God heals.

There are people I've never asked forgiveness from (though I really don't think it was ALL my fault) and probably should; who are those people for you? Take some time to think about it and what steps do you need to take to reconcile.

Much love, peace, and reconciliation grease,

       Ife 'Quipayan' S.

P.S.I'm all moved in here at school. But I feel like I've been here forever (I got in two days ago). I have sooo much to do before Tuesday (classes begin!). Yikes. Pray for me!

Great Goodness

Bonjour ladies and gents.

Today's blog/devotional will be a quickie because I've come to realize that I spend more time blogging and less time listening to God. So here goes:

God is good. I don't know if this is obvious for you, but there are definitely times when I forget just how good He is. I am reading Psalm 92 and the whole thing is praise to  God by David explaining just how amazing God is. For what He has done and for who He is.

----This semester has been one of the best for me. There are lots of reasons why, but I'd rather take this moment to praise God instead of rattle off things I think I did well.------
       I got a 3.77 GPA this semester which I thought wouldn't be because everyone says that the semester after study abroad would be the hardest because of the culture shock. Boy did God shock me! God is good because He does not limit Himself to our expectations, He surpasses them!
       I built good friendships with people I care about, not just with people with whom I have a friendship. Through a semester program called MOmentum, I learned about the intensity of love that God has for my campus and how I need to be the one that shares that love with others. God is good because God is love.
----That's is all I'll be sharing for now. I have work in an hour and want to spend a bit longer in God's presence. Love you all and please pray for me. This summer is still up in the air.-------

Much love, peace and goodness grease,
              Ife S.