Choosing to surrender

You would think that after 22 years of life, I would have figured somethings out. Well, I haven't. I haven't figured out how to:

1. Keep my room clean for more than 2 weeks
2. Write a research paper over a span of 1 month
3. Not binge spend
4. Follow Jesus

Chris Tomlin's song I Will Follow You

"All your ways are good. All your ways are sure." This line reminds me that I should want to follow Jesus' ways, follow in His footsteps and learn for Him. I know I've repeated many times that it's not about me, but sometimes I twist this. I recognize God in me and what He's called me to do, however, I recently thought about what that really means and looks like. 

        In my heart, I want to remember that when I say I follow Jesus and I want Him to use me, I recognize that I have a choice to disobey. I recognize that ultimately following Jesus is a decision to surrender. Surrender. This word is scary because it calls us to relinquish control. Control over our body, over our heart, over our actions and our thoughts. Complete surrender. That's what following Jesus is about, not saying "Okay, Jesus I see your plan and I think I'm down for that because it fits my plan too!"  It's saying "Whoa, Jesus. I see you doing really radical things and though the person of Ife would rather run, I made a choice to follow you, and I will." It's a relationship to follow knowing that He's done it first.

       He's been there already. He's defeated death already. He's freed me from "wrongs" and "rights". The standards that I live by are not of this world.

This is my prayer. I've prayed it so many times. To fully surrender. It's a process so today I start with a surrender of my body. My body chooses to recognize that I've been bought with a price and I do not belong to myself.

SN: I'm shaking my head thinking about what I chose to do. Surrender. What!?! Alright Jesus, I'm embarking on this journey and you know I'll be laughing all the way.

Do you remember?

Oh heeeey friend. Whatchoo doin'? Reading my blog? Wow. You're cool. B)

I want to warn you that this post ends with a rather sweet song, but don't go to the end first: READ this!

If you're wondering what I'm reading, wait no longer:

Psalm 103:1-14

Reading this passage was truly fulfilling as I went away to a conference this weekend and the one thing (out of several) that I gained with the choice I make to thank God and give Him his dues when I'm focused on negative things in life or how sour things are turning. Example: This past Friday, I was in a funk that had me torn, the most torn and stressed that I've ever felt over the span of 24 hours. Inconceivable how fragile I felt. I cried ever few hours, sighed in contempt for life at school and just overall had a weird funk face (the one when everyone knows that something is terribly wrong--can't even fake happiness). Thankfully, God threw all of my friends in my path that day to give me great advice....or was it just to remind me that He loves me? I didn't take their advice. BUT, I did realize how not alone I was though I sometimes felt it. So shout out to Sara B., Yan S, Mommy, Daddy, Genna M., Kelsey B., Cheyenne O., Erin W., Daphne W., Marcia M., and everyone else. You all helped me get through the day. Seriously.

So, when I got to the conference I was semi still in the funk, but on Saturday God reminded me, through a Spanish song (!!!), that I need to praise Him in las buenas y en las malas (In the good and the bad). I had forgotten how much He loves me and all the great things He does for me. I had forgotten. 

The passage in vs. 2 says "Praise the Lord, O my soul and forget not all His benefits." I want to remember how he "forgives", he "heals", "redeems", "works", "makes known his ways". I had forgotten. In the good and in the bad, let us not forget what God has done. Not only to remember, but to praise Him for it. 

So, Do You Remember?

Much love, peace and remembering grease,
      Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Teach me how to Dougie (this one's a shortie)

Hola damas y caballeros (sin cabeza?)
 
     How goes the buena onda? Okay, so we've officially entered the month of noviembre (in Spanish, not much is capitalized apart from the first letter of the first word in a sentence) and summer is SOOOOO hot here, but we're still in spring. No importa. I'm back in the city of lights, the ocean ports and hills. These past few weeks have been quite interesantes and I'm semi-nervous for the next month because I'm not always the best when left to myself. Too much free time=not enough work getting done, but God willing, this month will not be this way. I'll learn to make good use of the time I'm given.

   HIGHLIGHTS SO FAR IN CHILE:

Dancing in Mil Tambores (Valparaiso)
Volunteering in a small community with kids (El Salto)
Performing Sleepy Hallow (Caballero sin cabeza is our Spanish translation) to little school children (Putre)
       --Almost anytime I get to dance in my own little world to good music or play with kids--
Spending time with friends from WashU (Valpo/Santiago)
Watching brilliant stars (Putre)
Sharing my faith (Everywhere in Chile)


I am not going to explain every single one of these because my words wouldn't do them justice, but what I've found from these experiences are my passions in this life. Anytime I perform (dance, sing, act), I get this high that only comes from these passions. Anytime I can make a small child smile/laugh, it makes that day all that better. I get a whole lot of satisfaction in simply doing these things, but also how others feel.

-Dancing I do for myself. It's funny because I lose sight of where I am and sometimes get too consumed in the moment. One time, we went to a pretty empty bar in Arica that had media-buena musica and enough space for a dance floor. My friends went to drink, but I'm not into that so when the music got really good, I basically got up and started dancing. My other friend joins and we've got a little dance floor going. 10 minutes later, another friend tells me that there is a man recording the both of us. I immediately stop because I didn't want to draw bad attention, but 2 min later...there I was again. Ah well, maybe I'll be famous. haha. Vamos a ver.-

Music is my heartbeat.

So passions? Not really sure how this will translate into the "real world" and what my future consists of, but right now, I'm loving these moments! I realize I'm very much a homebody, but when it comes to the very core of who I am, these passions are where it's at.

Left to myself, I'd be a professional child developer/enthusiast that danced on the side. Imagine that :)

I was going to upload a super ballin' photo, but Blogger's being a bit fome (Chilean slang...look it up!). Next time.

Until then, much love, peace and pig grease,

Ife 'Quilpayan' S.

P.S. Do YOU know how to Dougie? I hear it's all the rave.