Pain, pain go away...

...come again another day.

Just watched a sermon from The Journey about how we respond to pain.

How Ife responds to pain:

• Ignore it--I'm really good at ignoring things that bring me pain because I can always watch a movie, go on Facebook, read a book or do something that makes me happy.
• Suppress it--My motto: Out of sight, out of mind.
• Down play it--"It's part of life; just let it be."
• Blog about it!--my favorite...generally makes me feel better

But the sermon that Darrin Patrick shared asks us to go to God with our pain. I sometimes do that...and then blog about it still. I know my God is all powerful, but I am sometimes too deep in the pain to think about how to properly approach God about my situation, which defeats the purpose of trusting Him; He needs to prep work because He wants me just as I am...a mess.

So, next time you're in pain, foresee pain or witness pain, go to God with it first and ask Him to work out a healing process. 

Here is the link to the sermon. Great stuff with great solutions. He pulls from the all too popular book of Habakkuk---now, where is that?

Much love, peace and praying grease,

Ife 'Quipayan' S. 

Choosing to surrender

You would think that after 22 years of life, I would have figured somethings out. Well, I haven't. I haven't figured out how to:

1. Keep my room clean for more than 2 weeks
2. Write a research paper over a span of 1 month
3. Not binge spend
4. Follow Jesus

Chris Tomlin's song I Will Follow You

"All your ways are good. All your ways are sure." This line reminds me that I should want to follow Jesus' ways, follow in His footsteps and learn for Him. I know I've repeated many times that it's not about me, but sometimes I twist this. I recognize God in me and what He's called me to do, however, I recently thought about what that really means and looks like. 

        In my heart, I want to remember that when I say I follow Jesus and I want Him to use me, I recognize that I have a choice to disobey. I recognize that ultimately following Jesus is a decision to surrender. Surrender. This word is scary because it calls us to relinquish control. Control over our body, over our heart, over our actions and our thoughts. Complete surrender. That's what following Jesus is about, not saying "Okay, Jesus I see your plan and I think I'm down for that because it fits my plan too!"  It's saying "Whoa, Jesus. I see you doing really radical things and though the person of Ife would rather run, I made a choice to follow you, and I will." It's a relationship to follow knowing that He's done it first.

       He's been there already. He's defeated death already. He's freed me from "wrongs" and "rights". The standards that I live by are not of this world.

This is my prayer. I've prayed it so many times. To fully surrender. It's a process so today I start with a surrender of my body. My body chooses to recognize that I've been bought with a price and I do not belong to myself.

SN: I'm shaking my head thinking about what I chose to do. Surrender. What!?! Alright Jesus, I'm embarking on this journey and you know I'll be laughing all the way.

Being George Zimmerman

Warning: The example in this blog involves the case on Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman and calls the reader to imagine.


         Imagine George Zimmerman was pronounced not-guilty, not deserving of the punishment he should get. With all the evidence going on and surfacing, it's hard, for me, to see why he has not been arrested. Imagine that the judge recognizes this. The jury recognizes this. Even his own attorney recognizes this. And what is the judgement call? A pardon.

After killing in cold blood, throwing out racial slurs, lying to the police, faking a beat up, disobeying authorities, sparking nation wide uproar, he is allowed to walk away 

unpunished.

But why? How can anyone see this evidence and make this case?

           They do see the evidence and are ready to make a guilty call, but suddenly his dad steps up and takes the place of his son. Robert Zimmerman approaches the judge and the jury begging to take the place of his son so he won't have to face the consequences of his actions. They agree. Even Martin's family agrees. Someone must pay the price. And when that price is paid, George Zimmerman is pronounced justified with the Martin family because someone else paid the price, he himself does not have to.

Imagine the uproar! The outcries of the nations!

How can someone so bad be given a second chance to life? How can this wretched man be allowed to live? HE MUST PAY!!

Imagine the feeling of liberation on the part of G. Zimmerman!

"I don't deserve this!" "I am unworthy of this sacrifice." "I did all these bad things, but don't have to pay the ultimate consequence for it?" Zimmerman will carry the guilt, will forever be at the mercy of the Martin family and will never be able to repay ANYONE for the pardon he was given. 

Imagine if you were George Zimmerman.

I am George Zimmerman.

I am guilty of passing judgement on my friends because of my holier-than-thou mentality

I am guilty of lying to my parents so they won't know what I do at school.

I am guilty of betraying my best friend to see a guy that I thought I was interested in.

I am guilty of pretending to be/do who I am not.

I am guilty of being bitter because I'm jealous, angry because I am defiant and lashing out because I refuse to see eye-to-eye.

For all the times I am Trayvon Martin--being misunderstood by society, friends, family--I am many times over George Zimmerman. 

But if it were not for the sacrifice someone else took in my place, I would have paid the consequences. I should have paid the consequences. That alone is enough to recognize my imperfection. I will never be perfect and so I have no choice by to be at the mercy of my Father. To say " God, have mercy on me, a sinner." 

Unlike George Zimmerman, though, I have someone who willing takes my place and in doing so, compels me to right my wronged relationships. The mercy and love I have been showing is not without its return. By accepting the sacrifice in my place, I am called to respond by showing that same mercy to others and pointing them to the hope that the sacrifice gives. Hope that promises:

"He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

(Psalm 103:9-12)

I will eternally apologize for my mistakes, the way I hurt people, but with the Love I've received, I desire to do better and be better. I don't deserve this pardon, but I want to live right because that's what accepting a pardon calls us to do.

How have you hurt your fellow human being?
What should your punishments be?

How do you respond to this judgment call of a pardon?

*Jesus does not condone murder nor any act of discrimination, stereotyping, or hate, so neither do I. This isn't a perfect portrayal of the sacrifice Jesus made, but it's only to give us a glimpse into the concept of forgiveness and pardon. 

Psalm 23-In Arabic

 اَلرَّبُّ رَاعِيَّ فَلاَ يُعْوِزُنِي شَيْءٌ. 2 فِي مَرَاعٍ خُضْرٍ يُرْبِضُنِي. إِلَى مِيَاهِ الرَّاحَةِ يُورِدُنِي. 3 يَرُدُّ نَفْسِي. يَهْدِينِي إِلَى سُبُلِ الْبِرِّ مِنْ أَجْلِ اسْمِهِ. 4 أَيْضاً إِذَا سِرْتُ فِي وَادِي ظِلِّ الْمَوْتِ لاَ أَخَافُ شَرّاً لأَنَّكَ أَنْتَ مَعِي. عَصَاكَ وَعُكَّازُكَ هُمَا يُعَزِّيَانِنِي. 5 تُرَتِّبُ قُدَّامِي مَائِدَةً تُجَاهَ مُضَايِقِيَّ. مَسَحْتَ بِالدُّهْنِ رَأْسِي. كَأْسِي رَيَّا. 6 إِنَّمَا خَيْرٌ وَرَحْمَةٌ يَتْبَعَانِنِي كُلَّ أَيَّامِ حَيَاتِي وَأَسْكُنُ فِي بَيْتِ الرَّبِّ إِلَى مَدَى الأَيَّامِ. 

مزامير 23 

http://www.copticchurch.net/cgibin/bible/index.php?r=psalms+23&version=SVD&btn=View&showVN=1 

I'm doing a presentation in my Arabic class about the 3 religious texts and me toca presentar sobre la biblia  (injeel--which literally means the Gospel). I'm excited to read it, but I have to pray for clarity because sometimes I stumble when I read in public, but will do perfectly when I'm reading by myself. 

Anyway, it's a good day and I thank God for the weather even though my allergies are acting up. Oh well. I'll just look extra high. Nbd. 

Until next time,

Ife 'Quipayan' S. 

The difference-God in Guyana

It took a 3,000 mile trip for me to come back and realize why I have put my life into the hands of someone I can't see. Am I crazy?

It took 4 hours for 4 days in the sun and swollen ankles for me to realize that the relationship I claim with Jesus isn't just for me. Am I selfish?

It took long conversations waay past my [Guyana] bedtime to realize that I love Jesus way more than I actually convey. Am I serious?

Guyana was an amazing experience and I hope that I get to share it with you, reader, because God did wonders in me. I can't fully explain in one blog, but I realized why my life was different from that of those who don't believe--I have hope.

Paul lays it out when he writes to the Thessalonian church in the first letter, 4th chapter 13th verse:

"Brothers, we don't want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope."

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. 

This is what I have been given by putting my life into the hands of someone bigger than me and this is what I deeply want to share with others, because Jesus is the hope of all the world. It only took 1 week, 3,000 miles, 10 mosquito bites and a team of dysfunctional people to remind me of this.

Much love, peace and hopeful grease,

Ife 'Quipayan' S. 

Be Like Christ

I am pretty sure that I've read this verse a million and 7 times, but it always reminds me of what I can improve on in my life. 

Philippians 2: 3-4 says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

               It sounded much simpler to me than it does when I actually try to put it into practice. As humans, we can be very selfish and self-satisfying. When I tell a good story (as I often like to do), I do that because 1) I know I can be a good story teller, but also 2) I like hearing people approve of what I do. Is that wrong?

             Heaven knows that it's not my intention to be selfish, so is there something that describes what I do if it's not selfishness? I won't try to justify this because I can't, but when it comes down to caring for people, I want to be able to do it the way Jesus Christ did it. He told stories to save souls.

          I encourage you, dear reader, to take time to grapple with this verse (and the passage in general which talks about humility) and see how much better our world would be if we all had this mentality. I guess next time I tell a story, it should be for the uplifting of others, making them see the Jesus in me 'cause I'm trying to be like Christ.

Alright homies, until next time.

Much love, peace and selfless grease,

Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Love: Unfailing

Well, good morning partner. Howdy there?

At 45 degrees the next morning, the snow was all gone. No trace.

         The snow fell to the Earth quite heavily the other day and after running into CC, we concluded that this was perfect weather for sledding. We borrowed some food trays from our favorite cafeteria on the North Side and hurriedly made our way to the slopes. We fell, tumbled, face planted, rolled and got back up many times that evening. And on our way out, a young woman, fully covered with appropriate snow gear, walks by and says "Howdy?" At least that's what I thought she said. In all actuality, she was inquiring of our experience: "How was it?" Though my response was "Hi!", it made sense to me when two of my friends respond with a "It was great!". I caught the mistake later.


             It seems that there are many times in our lives that we  hear the wrong things and this in turn affects our actions and what we do/say. After reading Psalm 13:1-6, I realized I haven't been fully comprehending what God wants from me. He says "Love me." I love and love and love until I pass out and can't get out of bed for the morning church service. The feelings of guilt start to pile up even further as I spend less and less time with Him in regular devotion in the morning. I shake my head and let it hang in embarrassment at my lack of dedication.

           Although God deeply desires that I love Him with ALL that I have, He knows that there is no way that I'll ever love Him fully and perfectly. "But I trust in your unfailing love..." That word 'unfailing' can only be applied to Him.

He says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." (Matt 22:37) I heard "If you can't love me perfectly, you are a failure."

        But what He's really say is "There is no on righteous, not even one" (Romans 3:10) but "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9) In my imperfect ways, God is perfect.

In my unfaithful ways, God is faithful. He never fails. 

        So, the more I listen to God, the more I realize, sometimes I just miss what He's saying and that makes all the difference. Now, I don't have to beat myself up when I don't do things perfectly, but simply trust in Him to get me to where He wants be to be and know that He's still working on me and will continue to until the end of time. That is my forever (unfailing) Love. <--A great song!

Until next time with much love, peace and unfailing grease,


Ife 'Quipayan' S.

What's your nature?

Bonjour friends and fans!

This morning's devotion comes from Galatians 5:16-26. It's been a long while since I've sit to write a devotions blog during the week. I've really gone to the other end of the spectrum in terms of where I was with my morning routine. I barely wake up early enough to get myself together and get to class. Pretty problematic, but this week is the week things change, in Jesus' name. I claim it.

The scripture outlines what it means to "live in the Spirit". It's not fully clear to me, but what I can say it that there are always two forces in us: the Spirit and our human nature. Human nature is the part of us that usually leads us to doing bad unhealthy things. In my case it is: staying up watching Youtube videos, eating 2 pints of ice cream, putting sleep over time with my Creator, dressing in ways to get attention from people, the list goes on. The Bible gives its own list: "sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft;  hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like." Extensive enough?

The Bible refers to this nature as the sinful nature meaning that as humans we are innately sinful. That's just the way we are, but that isn't where the story ends.

If we choose to accept that there is a part of us that never seems to get things right, then how in the world do we do right things? There's another part to us that desires to do good--for some people they've chosen to live this life style specifically by living according to the Spirit. What a vague term! Living according to the Spirit means that the things we do are not done because we need to fulfill the law and get approval from anyone, but instead it is the freedom to express love without fear and to restore the areas of our world that have been broken. That's what the Spirit has started meaning to me.

So what that leaves us with is two choices: Spirit vs. human. We always have these two choices, whether we recognize it or not. There are times when one is clearer than the other and there are times when both seem legit, but at the end of the day, we always have to choose which we will live by. Every action we take comes down to these two natures. What nature do you choose? One will lead to life and joy, the other will lead to death and failure.

I have to start deeply evaluating my actions and realize that to live according to the Spirit is so much better for me. I can't make these really important choices on my own at times, so I'm accepting the help that God gives at no cost.

Until later,

Ife 'Quipayan' S.

P.S. It's almost the one month mark of school this final semester and Valentine's day is on Tuesday. What are you doing?!

Intimacy with the Almighty-A Journey

Ahlan ya al-naas.

I hope you're enjoying this fabulous Sunday afternoon! As much as I would love to sit and chat with you all about what's been going down in my life, I want to take this time to lay out what I'm about this semester: An adventure. I stayed home from church today because I really wanted God to talk to me this morning about certain things and didn't want any kind of distraction. Granted, I ended up looking at my bank statement, updating Twitter and selling books on Amazon..fail...I need discipline.

Which brings me to my next point and the reason for this slight change in the direction for my blog. I started reading this book entitled: Intimacy with the Almighty a year ago, but have finally decided to take it seriously and take my relationship with God more seriously. I'd like to use this space to process thoughts after reading this book every other day. There are 4 basic chapters and reflection questions after them. I won't answer ALL the questions here, but it'll be nice to update the blog every now and then.

The book encourages intimacy and a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father as something to strive for and something that'll take discipline and changes in our lives.

For me that will be the biggest obstacle. I love DOING things. I always want to be involved and have very little discipline. As soon as I read the first few pages I knew that I had to step down from the next show I am supposed to do. I am the biggest fan of shows and productions, but I can't handle anything else in my life at the expense of relating with God and others. This will also help in discipline because it's something that I have work at, not just something that'll happen between meetings, class and hw.

Finally, the verse that got me to commit is this from Revelations 2:

"To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: The One who holds the seven stars in His right hand, the One who walks among the seven golden lamp stands, says this: 'I know your deeds and your toils and perseverance, and that you cannot endure evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary, But I have this against you, that you have left your first love."

vs. 1-4

I know how amazing God's love is, but there are times when I realize that I'm running around without Him, trying to make it on my own. That's whack and I want this to change because life is so much more complete with Him in it. That I know for sure. 

Next entry is the first chapter of this book by Charles R. Swindoll. Let the journey begin!

The Climb-by Miley Cyrus for some inspirational stuff. 

Until later,

            Ife "Quipayan" S. 

Thank you!

Hello friends, family and world-wide readers!

I can't thank you enough for taking time to read my blog. These past 4 years of my college experience have left lots to think about and even more to write about.

I hope it's been great for you as it has been for me because you are all special people that I truly care about so I try to put my best foot forward, as shabby as that may be: I'm a work in progress. :)

Again, lots of thanks and a wonderful rest of the week. Till next time,


Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Talk the walk

As a Christian, one of the things that is always on my mind is how to better live a Christ-pleasing life. What can I do today to make my Father in heaven pleased or in what way can I share His love with someone today? I can usually spot small gestures here and there, but usually end up doing things that anyone, Christ seeking or not, would do.

Story:
After many hours of sitting at the train station in Amtrak, I was gazing off into the shuffle of people waiting for the moment when I could pack my load and hop on the train bound for STL. It was then that I saw an elderly man asking for money, but didn't really have anything to offer him so I ignored his pleas for extra change. My eyes then wandered slowly to the Deli that was situated neatly along the furthest wall of the station's grand waiting area. I thought, "Since I don't believe money is the best I can give, why not buy him a meal instead?" Resolved, I turned to call his attention, but found that he was far from me and I was not about to leave my luggage. I figured that I'd catch up with him later on my way out while he made his rounds.

Long story short, I found him, bought him a substantial meal (so I thought). He wasn't fully content with a simple sandwich so he asked for coffee, an egg, and a fruit cup. I smiled and let him decide on what to get. I was glad to be able to help and that God had placed me in a place to give this man what he wanted. As I was leaving, he called me back. He thanks me and asks if I could further contribute to his collection plate so he could get food tomorrow.

For some reason, I became indignant. I eyed his collection of dollars he had in his hand and then gently snapped. "Haven't you been collecting money? What do you plan to use that for?" He responds with an answer that I found lacking: "Well, I just need money for coffee tomorrow. Could you give me some?" My retort was less than pleasing to say or hear: "I just paid $12 for your meal and you're asking me to give you more money! Sorry, I can't do that. You have money so you can use that."

None of that was in love. I was angry. Angry that he had the nerve to ask me for more money and angry that I had actually spent $12 on a stranger when I limit my own meals to $10. I then stalked out of the establishment with less than enough in my stomach to warrant a complete rage--it would consume too much of my energy.

--After reading Matthew 6:1-4, I realized that yes, I am capable of doing "good deeds" that make me sacrifice for others, but what am I doing it for? I know I wasn't going to go around bragging, but something inside me still wasn't in the right place. I had given to the needy, but my humility wasn't in check. I never thought that I would be the one to not talk the walk.--

So where do I go from here?: 1) Die to myself everyday. I can't profess to be following Jesus if I'm dwelling in my human nature and making things work out for me the way I want them to be. 2) Ask God to continually pull me into places of unease. When I better realize that I am to be used by Him, then I know that  this has nothing to do with me or my places of comfort. 3) Seek forgiveness when I miss the mark.

I missed the mark, but my Father is gracious and loving.

-Ife 'Quipayan' S.