Having parents as pastors, my 3 siblings and I grew up in the Bible and the Christian faith. Every statement was followed with a scripture. "Ife, wake up! You'll be late for school. 'A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.' Poverty is not for you, gehl." Basically, if God didn't say it, we didn't do it.
I never found it particularly overbearing, or burdensome to grow up in that type of environment as those on the outside looking in would think. It gave me a foundation to stand on, helped me stay out of trouble (for the most part), and has seen me through many teenage moments. That faith was my guide; my protector so to speak, and this was the case till I entered college, where the faith was not just for me to keep me sober on the weekends, but also something that I'd learn to share with my roommates, classmates and friends. I led bible studies, hosted praise nights and invited all my friends to church.
Then I graduated. My faith became "modernized", more palatable, more appealing and less potent.
This week I'm reading a book titled "Jesus is..." by Judah Smith. The chapter I'm reading deals with the topic of sin. Whoa! A big word. Sometimes, when I say it aloud, I feel like I dropped a curse word, like I said something vulgar. But it's not. It's the reality of our current state of affairs. The chapter emphasizes that we judge people based on how "little" or "big" the sin is. God sees sin as all the same, no curved scale, no levels, nothing. "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."
Having entered the real world, my life, actions, still reflect God, but my words and actions are dulled by the pressure I feel to appease, fit in, keep my job! I work in education so everyone is brilliant and extremely well educated. I'm not sure I quite fit in, so I do my best to assimilate and find where I fit. "We hide behind philosophical musings of cosmic good and evil, and we wax eloquent about love and tolerance and how that would make all the bad in the world go away. It's a smoke screen, a defense mechanism to deflect attention from the gaping holes in our holiness."
I don't want to hide any more. I don't want to fit in by presenting my beliefs as harmless and inoffensive. I don't want to mask the truth for pseudo-truth that is more acceptable.
Father, thank you for the reminder to be just the person I was made to be. Thank you that you show us images of who we are and who you want us to be. May your truth be constantly on my lips. Holy Spirit, guide my thoughts, actions and words this week. That I might be real, true and faithful to the cause.
Until Tuesday!
