The struggle

Have you ever thought that things would be better if only you knew what the future held? Then I would have known not to freak out last night.

Last night, in preparation for my two exams today, I struggled so hard to stay awake and make sense of what I was reading. All in vain. Sort of. I spent so many hours doing things to make sure I was preparing for the exams: I cancelled dinner dates, lunch dates, hang out time just so I could put myself in the best possible position to succeed.

But all to no avail. Not much was accomplished yesterday. Quite saddening. (God and I still have to talk about that), but this morning I woke up and cranked out the paper in 2 hours (5 pages) and spent time with God just thanking Him and realizing how much life does not depend on me.

Maybe that's it...I can't control life. Only He can. I know that, but maybe He was reminding me....idk. It still doesn't make sense to me.

As I head back to my studying, I just want to wish you all the best in whatever it is you've got to do today. No matter how difficult it is, ask God for motivation and a reason to keep on the grind.

Much love, peace and elbow grease,

       Ife 'Quipayan' S.

In Love

They say
"Love is blind!" 

I don't know who 'they' is, but love should not be blind.

I understand what it's supposed to mean: Love does not see the negative things in others.
I also understand that to be unhealthy. If I see my brother eating sand and choking, I'm not just going to let him continue because I love him and chose to overlook the negative. Love sees the negative, addresses it, and learns to forgive it.

"Love is patient, love is kind." Why don't we live by these rules? Love keeps loving in spite of the negative. Love is not only for romantic relationships and love is not just expressed physically.

Jesus met up with this woman at the well in John 4. She was basically the outcast of the outcasts. Even the marginalized people didn't like her. She was a Samaritan and a woman.

I want to point out is how Jesus shows His love. (Note: love is shown, not just talked about or thought about). She asks Him to provide her with a life source that never runs out: living water! He agrees and the dialogue goes down like this:

Jesus says, "Go, call your husband and come back."
She replies, "uh...I have no husband."
Jesus agrees, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."
[Insert your response here]

The conversation continues (read the rest here!!). But the point is, Jesus calls her out, because He loves her. He's not trying to get a good laugh, nor does want to hurt her. He touches that sore spot so she can realize that love is not blind to her pain, her shame or her sin.

So, tell me again why love is supposed to be blind?

He wants to heal the pain, take away the shame and keep us from sin. That's the kind of love I want. Don't you? *If you're not feeling this love and what to, holla at me. We can talk.*


Deuces,
   Ife 'Quipayan' S.

P.S. I'm just feeling extra loved today because God sees me (in all my nastiness and downfalls) and still loves.  Welps...gotta go write this paper and study me some Arabic. Chao or should I say Ma'salaama!?

Me, myself and I

"I........." How many times a day do we start our sentences with 'I' or construct strings of sentences with the word 'I' in it? It's hard to avoid it, I know. It's important that we use 'I' for several reasons such as giving someone your point of view or sharing the most riveting experience of something that happened to you. Then there are situations when we insert the 'I' unnecessarily. Someone is talking about their day (because you asked) and they pause for two seconds and you pick up where they left off. Observe:

You: Hey, Julie! How are you?
Julie: Great, fam. I just ran into my ex-boyfriend and he's not angry with me anymore. I was going to uh (pause)
You: Wait. What?! He said what? If I were you, I would have walked away right there. You know it wasn't your fault, so why does he think he has to forgive you?!Who does he think he is? I wish my ex-boyfriend would come up to me and say he's not mad. Let him be mad. I don't care!
Julie: (pause)......it's not about you.

This situation happened to me once. Really humbling and kinda awkward. My friend was right. It wasn't about me. Nor did he ask for my input. He was simply telling me a story that all I needed to do was listen.

(See how many times 'I' has been used by me?)

I'm trying to learn to think less of myself. Especially as a Christian. 2 Corinthians 2: 1-5 touches on the fact that what we have to say does not compare with what God has to say. The more we think that we are providing the greatest information or even good information, we should check ourselves. What is God saying? Seriously...

"When I came to you, brothers, I didn't no come with eloquence or superiors wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God." vs. 1 --Paul is saying that what he brought to the table, is nothing. He had to eloquence or superior wisdom. But what he testified to was what made the difference. When we start testifying about ourselves and looking inwardly, we can truly bring the Kingdom and look outwardly.

Take a step back. Read 1Cor. 2 for yourself. Recognize it's not about 'I'. Speak words that testify to God's person. 


Much love, peace, and outward-looking grease,
           Ife 'Quipayan' S. 


P.S. It's reading week and exams officially start on Thursday, but I have one everyday this week. Great. Only God can take me through....I should really stop focusing on what I can do and look to what God is capable of doing. Looking outward.