Me, myself and I

"I........." How many times a day do we start our sentences with 'I' or construct strings of sentences with the word 'I' in it? It's hard to avoid it, I know. It's important that we use 'I' for several reasons such as giving someone your point of view or sharing the most riveting experience of something that happened to you. Then there are situations when we insert the 'I' unnecessarily. Someone is talking about their day (because you asked) and they pause for two seconds and you pick up where they left off. Observe:

You: Hey, Julie! How are you?
Julie: Great, fam. I just ran into my ex-boyfriend and he's not angry with me anymore. I was going to uh (pause)
You: Wait. What?! He said what? If I were you, I would have walked away right there. You know it wasn't your fault, so why does he think he has to forgive you?!Who does he think he is? I wish my ex-boyfriend would come up to me and say he's not mad. Let him be mad. I don't care!
Julie: (pause)......it's not about you.

This situation happened to me once. Really humbling and kinda awkward. My friend was right. It wasn't about me. Nor did he ask for my input. He was simply telling me a story that all I needed to do was listen.

(See how many times 'I' has been used by me?)

I'm trying to learn to think less of myself. Especially as a Christian. 2 Corinthians 2: 1-5 touches on the fact that what we have to say does not compare with what God has to say. The more we think that we are providing the greatest information or even good information, we should check ourselves. What is God saying? Seriously...

"When I came to you, brothers, I didn't no come with eloquence or superiors wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God." vs. 1 --Paul is saying that what he brought to the table, is nothing. He had to eloquence or superior wisdom. But what he testified to was what made the difference. When we start testifying about ourselves and looking inwardly, we can truly bring the Kingdom and look outwardly.

Take a step back. Read 1Cor. 2 for yourself. Recognize it's not about 'I'. Speak words that testify to God's person. 


Much love, peace, and outward-looking grease,
           Ife 'Quipayan' S. 


P.S. It's reading week and exams officially start on Thursday, but I have one everyday this week. Great. Only God can take me through....I should really stop focusing on what I can do and look to what God is capable of doing. Looking outward.

Grace on grace on grace: Thanksgiving Special

Thank you.

Thank you for your love that is relentless and the gentle way you wake me up every morning. I do not take it for granted.

I will thank you on this blog, I will thank you in my classes and I will thank you in the presence of my hommies.

You've turned my rough mornings into noteworthy afternoons, making it as if I didn't just roll out of bed and run to class.

You've turned places of hurt into arenas of joy and peace. Where there was no life, you stepped in and breathed your life.

I thank you for taking me through those valleys and for loving me enough to not leave me there.
I thank you for giving me the type of joy that doesn't dwindle with the tossing of the waves or with the onslaught of homework.

This semester has been grace on grace on grace on grace. And for that I thank you.

Thanking God does not start with Thanksgiving, I know, but let's take this time to really sit, listen, remember, and thank.

Psalm 107:31-43

I deeply desire that you find reasons to be thankful this time of the year and recognize how blessed you are, so...

Much love, peace and thankfulness grease,

     Ife 'Quipayan' S.

Penny for your thoughts (well mine)

Sometimes I’m not sure people want to hear my thoughts. In life we’re encouraged to be bold, speak up, stand for something, let your voice be heard, but, they never let us know how to be in situations when people don’t want to hear it. Sometimes, I’m not sure people want to hear my thoughts.

I consider myself to be quite thoughtful, as in full of thought. I think often and deeply. I think about yesterday, I think about tomorrow, I think about the boy that just sat beside me and I think about what my face looks like from someone else’s perspective. I ponder about love and about selfishness. I ruminate about my failures and my successes (sometimes too frequently). I chew over the things I’ve forgotten and the things I never let go.

I think. A lot. But I wander if people ever want to know what I’m thinking. I’d love to share it with them. That’s probably why I write so much. If only I could automatically take my thoughts and sprinkle them on this canvas, if only I could empty my brain and pick through the ripe thoughts, the interestingly neglected ones, the bothersome ones. If only.

To stop thinking, would that be so wrong? If for one day, I chose not to sit and think or let my mind wander, would that be so wrong? I’m too curious for such an act. I’d lose control of my mouth and have enemies lined up at my door.

My thoughts are valuable, well, the mature ones at least. I’m not sure about the recently budding contemplations that have “Dead End” dangling from them. I think because I am (alive). I am (alive) because I think. So, to think is to be. If for one day I chose not to think, I would have chosen death.

Hence, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter if people want to hear my thoughts. I want to live. Eso nomas. 

***So if you just read my blog and don't care about my thoughts, thank you. You've simply added to my life.***
---Have a great day.---

Sleep chronicle: Daily report on sleeping patterns

Ay friend. What it do?

As I mentioned in a previous blog post (I've Got It Twisted), I am chronicling my sleeping hours, the effects and what not till I get to a place where I'm sleeping 7-9 hours regularly (I don't think I've slept that much in a while. Problematic.)
I'm doing this, not because I think sleep is the most important part of my life, but because I am very aware of the fact that I am not effective, listening to God or responsive when I have little-to-no sleep. In Psalm 4:8, sleep is associated with peace, which is what God provides. I want peace.

So here goes. Let me know if you have any suggestions!

Day 1--5 hours. Woke up late. Didn't do devotions. Dozed off in two of my classes. By 5:00pm I wasn't taking any intellectual information in or being responsive to questions. I lost my train of thought really quickly and forgot what people said just as quickly. I might be getting sick. I don't know yet. Took a 1.5 hour nap during the day. Missed LG and got a bit behind on hw. Physically felt drained and not alert at all. 3:30am-8:15am.

Day 2--6 hours. Wrote an Arabic paper/did devotions. Struggled to stay awake in class and at work, but stayed awake. Didn't take a nap, but really wanted to skip class to take one. Physically felt weighed down with my lack of energy and sleep. 2am-8:15am

Day 3--6.5 hours. Did devotions (for 10 min). "Did" my Arabic hw and was NOT late to class. I stayed awake in my second class (IC) until the very end, but it was better than the last class. I still felt tired, but sat down a rested for a while. I took a 2.0 hour nap during the day, missed an event I wanted to really go to. :Sad day: 1am-7:30am

Day 4--6.5 hours 1:30am-8am

Day 5--6 hours 45 min. 1:45am-8:30am. Wanted to nap.

Day 6--~6 hours  2:10am-8:30am. Felt good and engaged today. Took a 1hr nap, but it wasn't too long and that was sufficient. I was pooped by the end of the day, but that might have been because I was running around all day.

Day 7--~7 hours 12:30am-5:00am, 6:45am-8:45am. No nap. Felt really good all day. Didn't feel tired though my sleep was broken up. Didn't start feeling sleepy till after 1pm. Very productive day with hw and relaxation. Stayed awake for the most part in church.

Day 8--~7 hours1:45am-8:40am  Woke up late, but got ready in <15 min.

I've got it twisted

Yo, so God is working on me in not getting my priorities twisted.

I fell asleep amidst my homework around 1-ish in the AM, then woke up around 3-ish 'cause sleeping in my clothes was uncomfortable. Then, I didn't fall back asleep till 7am. Missed church and am now here listening to a sermon online (not that this is bad, but church is a place to share in community what God is doing in His kingdom through us).

I totally have my priorities twisted and with God's help it'll be worked out. Henceforth, I'll share a bit about my progress on priorities and sleep  progress. If only I can convince myself that sleeping is necessary...

Deuces. I'm out.

Do you have your priorities straightened out? Share so we pray in this together!

Breakfast anyone?

Howdy partner!

It's me. Tanguina Tina. Just chillin' with God and seeing what's good with you. It has been a while since I last blogged, but I'm here to remedy this and provide another post showing how ballin' Jesus is.

Alright, I really wish Jesus could come back in the flesh at times because in this passage (John 21:1-23), He hooked up the disciples with breakfast! How sweet it that? Village Brunch is great and all, but with the type of inspiration Jesus has, that breakfast would be Campbell delicious--mmm mmm gooood!

Breakfast: http://92q.com/bmore/kiki/motivational-minute-never-skip-breakfast/

[So Ife, what does breakfast have to do with this?] I'm glad you asked. Let me set the table AKA the scene.

We approach this table after Jesus just finished some miracles. NBD. He also just finished showing His wounds to Thomas, the doubter (Jesus didn't get much lovin' from him in this passage). Thomas was trippin' because Jesus hadn't showed Himself to him personally and he was being difficult: "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Really though? Did he just say put my fingers in his side? WHY? (gross). But Thomas was that serious.

Am I asking God for signs in order to believe or have I discounted His existence?


Then Jesus shows up, shows out (in the most peaceful, caring manner) and let's Thomas check Him out. Case closed. Thomas believes that Jesus is living. So what's the next step? FISHING!?!? This was most of the disciples' occupation so they had to go to work at night, when the fish were sleeping and in their calm state (optimal time for fish catching--early early morning or super late night...they really might be the same). But dun dun dun. They catch nothing.

Zilch.  
     Zipo.  
          Nada. 
                Cifer. 
                      Zero. 
                           Nil. 
                              Null.
                                   Nothing... you get the picture.

These are professionals in their field, probably learned from the best in fishing, have been doing it for so long,  it ain't no thing. But they caught nothing. They had no results for their labor.

In what ways do I labor in my "specialty" and see no results, at least the results I expect?


Then Jesus steps in, gives them a few suggestions and vuala! FISH! Not just a few, but a "large number of fish". 153 to be exact. They brought the fish in and Jesus had hooked up a nice cooking fire, fish and some bread. Breakfast anyone?

Jesus fed them. He provided them with what they needed at the right time. They might have been having a fit when they didn't get results. "I'm a professional fisher. I catch fish. That's what I do."

This is one of the reasons Jesus came to Earth, to keep us from laboring, struggling in vain. He wants to guide us, give us some great insight in life and provide us breakfast. But this didn't happen the way the disciples expected. Let's not continue in vain struggle and toiling, but instead let Jesus set us up to enjoy the labor our fruits by doing what He asks. Say 'no' to the stress, 'no' to the struggle, 'no' to the pointless labor and say 'yes' to breakfast from Jesus.

So, are you going to let Jesus hook you up with breakfast?


Much love, peace, and breakfast grease (yummm),
         Ife 'Quipayan' S.

P.S. I'm pretty pumped to apply to some of my after college applications and such. I hope to be teaching English in another country for a few years before going to grad school. I wonder if that's actually what God has planned. But, I'm actually hungry, so I'mma grab some brunch. Deuces.

Not against flesh and blood

Dear Enemy,

I'm calling you out on your mess.

I'm calling you out on your lies.

I'm calling you out on your deception.

I'm calling you out on your wratchedness.

I'm calling you out.

I'm calling you out because you really had me going for a sec.

When you had convinced me that nothing I did would succeed.

You're right.

That's why I'm giving my mind, heart and soul to the One who makes all things possible.

I'm calling you out because you really screwed with my mind.

When you had me convinced that my friends didn't care for me.

You were wrong.

So, I'm committing them and myself into the hands of the One is who is Father to the fatherless.

I'm calling you out because you really had me walking around blind.

When you had me convinced that some people didn't deserve my time.

You were wrong.

Now I'm dropping the games and showing the love of the ultimate Lover.

I'm calling you out for every broken relationship you had me thinking had no remedy.

I'm calling you out for every single day I walked arounding hiding in shame.

I'm calling you out for the times I was too afraid to share the good news.

I'm calling you out because, quite frankly, you need Jesus. Just sayin'.

So, enemy. You've had your time in the limelight, but I'm taking it back.

I have the authority that has been given to me by the King.

I am royalty.

I am loved.

I am unstoppable.

I am adored.

Don't look at me like you've got this in the bag.

This community belongs to my Father.

Sleeves are being rolled up.

People are getting serious.

Play your games (you're wasting your time).

Speak your lies (you're wasting your breath).

But enough is enough.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12